


Witch Found Wanting

by storyplease



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 11:50:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15751089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storyplease/pseuds/storyplease
Summary: Hestia Jones has always wanted...more. More from her friends. More from her family. More from her *life.* After years of settling for second best, she finally finds something to fight for. But with a war looming on the horizon, Hestia must decide what she truly values.





	Witch Found Wanting

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing about Hestia Jones, who is part of the Order of the Phoenix and shows up a few times in the books. She should not be confused with Hestia Carrow, who I have written one story about before. I have never written about this character before, and there is not a lot of information about her, so I'm going to do my best!

Hestia Jones was not used to getting what she wanted.

Sure, she had enjoyed a relatively sanguine upbringing, and her parents loved her in an upper-middle-class-British sort of way. She never wanted for food or shelter or clothing. There were albums filled with her round, apple-red cheeks, her wide smile, and her sparkling eyes. Her younger siblings (a pair of twin girls born when she was in year four at Muggle school and a brother two years younger) each got their Hogwarts letter when they were finally of age. Hestia was used to being in charge and minding her siblings while her mother went down to the shops. Even before she'd turned eleven and started her first year at Hogwarts, everyone was always saying that she was such a motherly person, even though having a family was the last thing on her mind.

Hestia didn't want to be the round-faced, round-bodied mother baking cookies for her round-faced children and her stout, moustached, banker husband.

Hestia wanted  _more_.

Her body, however, had other ideas. She'd been a chubby baby, a stocky child, and puberty had brought more roundness than she could handle. She was terrified of boys, so it didn't bother her that much to be ignored as a potential romantic prospect, but the insults and the bullying about her looks cut her to her core.

Hestia had been Sorted into Ravenclaw, but it had been far too late for her to avoid befriending the most mischievous Hufflepuff that Hogwarts had ever known. She'd been on the train with Tonks (the door had got stuck and they'd nearly been left behind). Then they'd been on the boat together (it had nearly capsized when Tonks tripped forward in her excitement to look over the edge of the boat into the Black Lake). Finally, they'd been standing next to one another during the Sorting, and by that time, they'd become fast friends. Together, Hestia, the shy girl who'd always been teased about her apple-red cheeks and her weight, and Tonks, the girl who could transform her lips into a squid beak after seeing the Giant Squid jump over their boat, made an odd pair. While she was at school, Hestia often found herself roped into Tonks' shenanigans. There were more than a few detentions served with her smiling, pink-haired best friend, but she had to admit that it made her time at Hogwarts a lot less lonely than her primary school experience.

Though Hestia maintained a jovial personality and a positive outer demeanour, she often felt sad and lonely due to the prejudices of the other students. It also didn't help that she was half-blooded. She'd thought that Ravenclaws would be above the petty blood purity that Slytherin was known for, but most of the other Ravenclaw students were rather cold towards her once they found out her mother was a Muggle. She soon found herself censoring her language whenever she started to talk about anything that might mark her as having a mostly Muggle upbringing. Sure, they listened to the wireless, and she'd had her own toy broomstick from the time she could walk, but she also watched the telly, craved microwave popcorn, and loved her red Converse shoes.

She was also a terrible liar, as her cheeks would always turn cherry red whenever she tried to tell a fib. She did befriend another Ravenclaw girl named Melinda for a time, but once Melinda figured out a way to slim down enough to be accepted into one of the more popular groups in their House, Hestia was left mostly alone once more.

Hestia wondered just how she could stay so round and doughy if she was constantly climbing the myriad of stairs that led to Ravenclaw Tower. She didn't eat more than most of her fellow students; if anything, she often ate less due to being self-conscious about her weight. She was also fairly athletic. Out of all the girls in her year, she'd been the only one to receive top marks in flying class and had been offered a spot as a Beater on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team in her second year. Hestia loved flying. It was one of the only times where she felt weightless and free. In her heart, she knew that she would be far superior as a Seeker, but the others refused to take her seriously due to her size and shape.

Again, Hestia wanted  _more_.

In her sixth year, Hestia scoured the library for information on careers that involved flying that were not related to Quidditch. Ideally, she wanted to study hard and get high marks that would transfer to a job where she could prove herself based on merit instead of appearance. There was a specific image that came to mind when one mentioned professional Quidditch players, and Hestia was nowhere close to it.

Oddly enough, it had been Tonks who had suggested that they become Aurors together.

"But aren't they basically like Wizard policemen?" Hestia said, wrinkling her nose distastefully. She did not fancy the thought of having to walk the streets of wizarding communities and catch pickpockets.

"Don't be silly, Hes," Tonks said, her eyes changing to two different colours as she crossed them and stuck out her tongue, which was her preferred way of making Hestia laugh. "They have all sorts of divisions. For example, I could use my metamorphmagus abilities to stealthily infiltrate an enemy's—WHAAAAAA!"

Hestia sighed as Tonks tripped over a non-existent obstacle for the third time that day and landed flat on her face. "Metamorphmagus or no, you're going to have to improve your ability to stay upright for an extended period of time before you're going to be fit for anything involving  _stealth_."

" _Ow_ , my nose!" Tonks groaned from the floor. She took Hestia's offered hand gratefully, then looked at her best friend. "You've certainly got the grades  _and_  the brains for it, Hes." Tonks' hair went a pensive purple colour. "Me, on the other hand...if I don't bring up my Transfiguration grade…"

Hestia had to laugh at the irony of her best friend's statement. "For someone who can transfigure her own body, you sure are pants at Transfiguring anything else."

"I wouldn't think so," Tonks replied with a sniff. "There's a big difference between being born with a gift and learning complex wand motions."

After a bunch of cajoling on Tonks' part and the promise of a new pair of hand-knitted gloves, Hestia finally agreed to tutor Tonks in Transfiguration. She came to look forward to their study sessions, which were always entertaining and involved more than a little socialising and tasty snacks pilfered from the Hogwarts kitchen. It was like her own cozy world with her favourite person, and Hestia found that she was not looking forward to the end of school if it meant giving up these sorts of moments.

* * *

After graduation, Hestia figured that there was no harm in applying to become an Auror. She also made sure to fill out a few applications for entry-level clerical jobs at the Ministry to be safe, but in her heart she didn't want to be forced to sit at a desk until she looked like Dolores Umbridge. Hestia had never met the horrible woman herself, but a few of her former Ravenclaw acquaintances had already interviewed in the Minister's office and each had a horror story of that awful, toad-like hellion.

Luckily for Hestia, it turned out that there were indeed several divisions within the Aurors, and the Air Reconnaissance Team contacted her a week later for an interview and practical knowledge test. Hestia was thrilled that the interview and test mostly concerned her flying abilities and spellcasting under pressure. She was then assigned as a trainee to Kingsley Shacklebolt, a former Ravenclaw himself, and was put through her paces each day as they prepared for their first mission. Kingsley didn't give two hoots about her size as long as she could cast a strong Disillusionment Charm and fly faster than the wind. Hestia did so well at these that she was sworn in to active duty within eighteen months. She tried not to rub it in to Tonks, who'd become her flatmate after graduation, but Tonks had still grumbled into her soup for a week.

Tonks had been immediately recruited to work in the Special Operations division under Mad-Eye Moody, who was both stricter and more extreme in his training regimen than his reputation would have had her believe. Still, Hestia was fairly certain that if Tonks was ever going to learn how to avoid tripping over her own feet, Moody would be the most qualified for the job. It took Tonks until the spring of 1994 to finally earn her full standing as an Auror. They celebrated with a night on the town. They patronised both Muggle and magical establishments, ending up in a park at midnight with Tonks swimming in a fountain and making her hair change to several colours at once until it looked like a soggy rainbow.

"Wotcher, Hes!" Tonks said, winking at her as she pulled herself to the edge of the fountain, her arms draped over the tiles.

In that moment, Hestia found herself realising something that she'd known for a while, though she'd never have admitted it to anyone while she was sober.

"Tonks, I—" Hestia hesitated, but the positive energy of the evening and the firewhiskey pushed past her normal inclination to play it safe and hold herself back from doing the things the truly wanted in life. "I...I like you."

"Oh? But I  _love_  you!" Tonks replied, and Hestia flushed scarlet to the top of her head.

"Could I...could I kiss you then?" Hestia didn't know where the words were coming from, but she said them and as she did, they were truer than anything she'd said in her life.

"Sure, sweet-cheeks!" Tonks replied, pinching Hestia on one of her round, red cheeks.

Hestia leaned forward, her heart hammering in her throat, and pressed her lips against Tonks', almost expecting a joke; perhaps a squid beak or a cat's rough tongue. There was only a sweet, slightly minty flavour that made Hestia's heart beat all the more frantically with joy. Their kisses were slow and sweet and tender, but all too soon, Tonks pulled away, grinning wickedly.

"What—" Hestia had hardly a moment to react before Tonks grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into the fountain with a gleeful shriek.

"Heehee, now you're wet too, Hes," Tonks said with a giggle.

"WHY YOU!" Hestia surfaced with a roar, and splashed Tonks in the face, which turned into a splash war. It got a bit silly after that, and they had to Disillusion themselves rather hastily and hide while dripping wet behind a bush when the Muggle policemen came. In the end, they ended up at their flat with hot chocolate and blankets, and soon fell asleep on the couch resting against one another.

* * *

It wasn't that Hestia had forgotten that magical night, or her feelings, but in the morning, they seemed so much less  _real_  than they had before. It was as though she'd been a part of a wonderful dream that had dissolved in the harsh light of morning. Tonks, too, seemed uncertain. She'd put her arm around Hestia, and Hestia would stiffen, her mind immediately going to the state of her thighs and her double chin, and how someone as fit and perfect as Tonks (well, other than the clumsiness) would never see her like  _that_ when she was sober.

Tonks was as affectionate as always, pecking Hestia on the cheek before they went their separate ways in the morning. Nevertheless, Hestia couldn't bring herself to respond much more than by blushing embarrassingly and waving stiffly as Tonks ran off towards the Special Operations office. It wasn't that Hestia had  _never_  gotten what she wanted, she just never seemed to get  _exactly_  what she wanted. In this too, she assumed that she could never truly find romance with her best friend. She began to worry and fixate upon the thought of her own imperfections and things going wrong; of her reading things the wrong way and losing Tonks' friendship forever.

And what she wanted now, more than anything, was to stay by Tonks' side no matter what that meant.

Hestia's anxiety grew between them like a chasm until finally she could bear it no longer. The price for being wrong was too high a cost. Even if Hestia would never have the relationship she wanted, it would be worth it as long as she could still be close to her best friend.

Still, her heart beat with the bitter pain of denying the truth of her feelings, and she knew that things would have to change or it would eat her up inside until there was nothing left.

Hestia moved into her own flat a few weeks later. She'd used the excuse of a recent raise to soften the blow, but the shocked look on Tonks' face had said it all. Hestia hid away in her new tiny place with books and the telly. She took on extra hours so that she was too busy whenever Tonks asked her to lunch. She protected her heart, knowing that those precious kisses were all that she was allowed and that she was selfish to think she'd ever have anything more. Soon, their friendship drifted into vapid pleasantries whenever they saw one another, and nebulous offers of lunch that were never taken. Hestia hated herself for it, but every time she saw Tonks grinning with her bubblegum-pink hair flying out behind her, she knew that it was for the best.

'Tonks deserves better. No, she deserves the  _best_. Certainly not a half-blood witch who looks like she takes more after an apple than a human being,' Hestia thought, biting her tongue to keep the bitter tears from welling up in her eyes.

It was from Kingsley that Hestia learned about the Order of the Phoenix, and she didn't even wait for him to finish before she offered to take a Vow if it meant that she could join. It was then that she knew that even though her life was destined to be one without any true moment of greatness, she would still be able to do some good. She could protect Harry Potter and do her small part to protect the Wizarding World.

In that moment, the desire to fight for the side of the Light finally overpowered all others that warred within her, and Hestia smiled wide for the first time in ages.

'Perhaps,' she thought, 'a world without Voldemort will be a world where anything is possible.'

As the thought of Tonks' carefree laughter filled her mind, Hestia Jones knew that any world where such joy existed was one worth saving. If giving her life was what it took, then that was all she wanted in the world.


End file.
